Birthday Thoughts

Well, another birthday has come along. I'm another year wiser (the word older will never cross my lips) and I have to say that my life is progressing just like a fine wine, only getting better with time! I want to thank all my wonderful family and friends for their oh so sweet birthday wishes, you have no idea how much they mean to me!

I do however, get a lil teary eyed though when I realize that the one call I always looked forward to most on this day doesn't come anymore. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, MOM! I think that cliche of time healing all wounds is pretty much bullshit, cause your loss hurts just as much today (especially today) as it did those six long years ago that you left us.

So on this day when I get all the adulation and celebration, I thought I would take a moment to celebrate you. You brought me into this world with trepidation, fear, but most of all with undying love. From that day forward, you were not only a wonderful mother (and father for that matter), but my hero and best friend!

I can never forget that awful December day six years ago when I held your hand and whispered to you that "Dad was coming to take you home", it was so surreal that I felt him there taking you in his arms and giving you the hug you'd been so patiently waiting for since he was so unfairly taken from you all those years ago. I felt a complete family unity that I hadn't felt since I was a baby and that made the unfathomable pain of losing you a little easier to take, because I knew you were now with him and Granny, Grandpa and everyone else who loved you so dearly. I'm sure there was quite the shindig happening in heaven that night and I bet Uncle Andy had an unending box of wine under his arm making sure all glasses stayed full as they celebrated your arrival. It was that image that at that horrible moment of devastation, where I actually felt an inner peace that I've never felt before or since. I knew in that instant we completed a circle of life that will bond us for all eternity. I know this sounds bizarre, but that moment will go down as one of the proudest of my life.

So while it's happy birthday to me today, I just want to say happy "birthing" day to you! And even though I may not physically get that phone call I so long for, I hear your sweet voice always.

I LOVE YOU MOM!